The Smell

While basking in the afterglow of my exciting bargain purchases yesterday, I forgot to post about my horrible experience with The Smell. Tuesday morning I got in my car to go to work and noticed an unpleasant smell. It had a rained a little the night before and I'd left my windows cracked, so I just thought that maybe something had gotten wet and stinky. I rode with the windows down to work and thought that if I ignored The Smell it would go away. I forgot all about it, and didn't leave for my lunch break, so it wasn't until 5:30 that evening that I again encountered The Smell. The temperature on Tuesday had reached 97 degrees and my car had been locked up tight on the black asphalt all day. As I'm approaching my car in the parking lot, I smell It again...only 20 times worse. I open my car door and immediately become light-headed. Then I notice 3 flies buzzing around inside my vehicle! I'm convinced at this point that either a) someone is playing a mean trick on me and has hidden a dead animal in my car, or b) one of the dogs has had explosive diarrhea (I'm always so proud of myself that I can spell that word!) in my car and covered it up without my noticing. Holding my breath, I begin to check the floor boards and under the seats. The Smell is getting stronger, I've become nauseous and slightly delirious, and conclude that the source of the smell must be coming from my trunk. I have a jeep, so everything is open, making it even easier for the nasty scent to have permeated my vehicle. I open the back and am blasted with an odor so noxious that my eyes water. I see the source immediately...a grocery bag. A grocery bag containing what were once 6 frozen chicken breast. The bag of 6 frozen chicken breast that was purchased along with a trunk full of other groceries on SUNDAY and innocently overlooked while unloading. The bag of 6 frozen chicken breasts that had been de-thawing, semi-baking, and poisoning the air quality of my car in the 90+ degree heat for almost 2 full days. I tentatively take one of the grocery bag handles and pull The Smell out of my trunk. It lands with a wet thud and sizzle on the pavement, and in doing so splashes out some yellowish raw chicken water on the ground, the leg of my jeans, and my new J. Crew Critter flops. I can't hold it in any longer: I turn my head and puke. I have a very low tolerance for food-related grossness--raw meat, dirty dish water, God-forbid I find mold at the end of the loaf of bread. So now I'm left with my vomit splatter AND 6 rancid chicken breasts to clean up. Not the way I like to end my workday. Even better was the ride home, The Smell still lingering in my jeep, despite all the windows being down. Luckily B's neighbor suggested coffee grounds and/or charcoal to absorb the smell. We put both in the trunk and floorboards, which did help a lot. Then I doused the interior with Febreeze and Lysol and left the windows down overnight so it could air out. Now it's almost as good as new...The Smell is still lingering a bit in the trunk area, I still gag and dry heave when I smell it, but I think in a few more days it will be gone all together.